We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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