summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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