We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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