She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
