yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
