ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
