i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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