my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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