if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
