If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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