I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
