Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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