its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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