Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize