what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
