I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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