Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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