someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
