so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize