She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
