I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
