thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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