Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I smell stomach acid.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
