I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
