I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
