She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
