So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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