Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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