Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
