Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize