when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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