I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
