I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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