Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
