I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize