So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
one might say we're banned from that church
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
