So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
