My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
