birth control should be required to get into college
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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