The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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