Small penises have feelings too.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like eating out sand paper
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
