I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
