I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
