I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
