im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
3pm strippers are depressing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
