i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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