i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize