plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
