You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
