Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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