what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
