There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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