I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize