His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
