don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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