Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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