Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
