Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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