well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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