I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
