I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she told me i tasted like america
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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