just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
