I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
