Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize