Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
