This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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